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Barker uploaded photo(s)
Friday, May 2, 2025
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Romans 5:3-5 reminds us that God does not waste pain. He always uses it to accomplish his purpose in our lives. Today, more and more, Im holding on tighter and tighter, knowing you are the hardest pain to let go of. I want to sleep with this pain and never let it go. Every tear shed. Every, "I love you" said. Every moment shared. You yourself were an accomplishment in my life. 1Corinthians:13-8, reminds us love never fails, if it fails it wasn't real. If its real it will find a way back to you. You came back, when I least expected it. Gave me so much happiness. So in this I know one day I will find you again. On the other side of the stars, in my dreams, in another life. Ill find you again. I love you Stud. Miss you more and more every day. Finding ways to cope without you has become an obsession. Learning to heal has become a hobby. Learning to let go will be a life long journey.
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Barker uploaded photo(s)
Friday, April 18, 2025
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I thought I was catching guy talk, didn't know I was catching a moment. 2 years ago April 15th, Drakes 16th birthday. We went to Chico and got some In N Out. Decided the park would be fun. So we went. Didn't know that I was going to snap a moment you would be having with my sons. Just thought I was snapping a picture of guy talk. In this moment, you were asking my sons how they felt about or if it was okay to date their mom. Denny said, "I have respect for him for asking mom, cause really he didn't have to ask us anything". I was just as astonished and twitter-patted with you involving my kids in that moment, as I was when you randomly called me the year before. Today, 1 year ago, you proposed. "Would marrying me be so bad?" No it absolutely wouldnt be. You said, "I know what we could be. I know how happy we would be. Will you marry me?" My immediate response was a very high pitched, "YES, ABSOLUTELY!" Aside from my kids, you were the best thing to happen in my life. A surprise. You just called and appeared. I needed to know a love like yours. Im privileged, I got to experience it. To be truly loved, without judgment, to be seen, heard, and understood. To feel safe and secure. To know a good man, that wasn't perfect, but was just right for me. Thanks for showing my kids how their mom should be treated, and what love should look like. Thank you for the moments Stud.
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Barker lit a candle
Tuesday, April 1, 2025
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Its April 1st, in just 17 days from now would have been 1 year since you proposed. In 1 month and 2 days we would have been married for 1 year. In 19 days, it will have been 1 year since I have been able to hold your hand, see your face, or hear your voice. I want to say April fools. Its all a joke. And you be home tonight. But that's just not the way our story was written. Luckily though, I have a guardian angel with one hell of a personality and strong moral standing to keep me laughing about life and make sure I keep on the straight and narrow. Love you Stud. Miss every day. Hope its everything you thought it would be. Keep saving me a seat up stairs.
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Barker posted a symbolic gesture
Monday, March 17, 2025
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331 days. They say new habits can be formed in 30-40 days. I've learned to talk out loud... No matter where I am, I talk to you, out loud. I have learned to redirect my feelings and to repurpose them into actions, some art, journaling, decorating. I have gone to counseling and therapy. No I'm not crazy. But without you, I might as well be declared insane. The moon has heard more stories of you than I care to count, at minimum 331. Because of you, I isolate myself. I don't care to cry in front of people. But because of you, I know there is no such thing as not letting people know you care. In this 331 days, I've learned time doesn't fix anything, it just makes it easier to move without hurting. In 331 days, I haven't stopped thinking about you and missing you hasn't gotten any easier. You're a once in a lifetime kind of a guy. The one I was so proud to take home to meet the family, to introduce to my kids, to get the privilege to love... And to finally know what happiness really feels like. I love you and miss you.
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Barker uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, March 2, 2025
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Happy 38th Stud! I love and miss you. Hope your day is filled with laughs as you look down and watch loved ones remember you on your day.
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Barker lit a candle
Monday, February 24, 2025
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In less than a week, March 2nd, exactly 25 days before mine, it will be your birthday. Happy almost 38th Stud. I figured out how I'm going to celebrate you, and the amazing person you were. I think you will enjoy it. Just hope the messages get to you and you're looking down celebrating with us, for your day. I hope you're going to be living it up on cloud 9 with all the greats. Celebrating like a rock star. For us down here your forever 37. Miss you Stud. Loving you like crazy every day, thinking about you every moment.
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Barker posted a symbolic gesture
Friday, February 7, 2025
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"When you left A Part of Me died. It didn’t kill me, but something changed,
A piece of me lost, forever estranged.
I walked away, yet not the same,
A shadowed soul, a quiet flame.
That day took part of who I was,
Left me searching, without cause.
I carry on, but feel the void,
A heart once whole, now destroyed.
It didn’t end me, but I’m not whole—
An echo remains, deep in my soul.
I’m here, I breathe, but truth denied—
A part of me, that day, quietly died."
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Barker posted a condolence
Wednesday, February 5, 2025
Woke up and was getting Aella ready for school, she looks in the mirror and just starts crying.... "I miss Terry so much mommy." I respond holding back the tears, "I know kiddo. I know. I do to." I walk away while big sister Sophia gives her a hug and finishes her hair. I wipe my tears with my back turned and hear Aella say, "I miss his snoring. Me and mommy slept so good when he snored for us." I just start laughing. She continues on, "I miss Amelia and Abel too". I can only imagine how your babies are getting along. They got a good momma keeping your memory alive.
You brought people together, and the little things you did really made a difference. Whether it was a helping hand, saying something funny that stuck, being a great father, a good friend... We miss you and your still thought about. Always. Love you Stud.
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Barker uploaded photo(s)
Friday, January 31, 2025
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Planning in advance. Thinking of how I was going to celebrate our birthday month. Last year it was planned, we would go for a drive down a dirt road, turn on my blue headlights, dance in the rain, and you would even let me take pictures of us. You wound up getting sick. So I brought you pho soup. You said it was your first time trying it but was good and felt so nice on your stomach. We cuddled up after you played games, and had a picnic on your bed. Said next year we would dance every night in the rain or in the kitchen making dinner, for our birthday month. It rained today and reminded me of the incredible person you were. You didn't dance, but for me, you would make an exception. You always made my heart flutter and gave me reasons to smile. I love you Stud. Thank you so much for all the incredible memories. My forever 37 ageless love. Until I see you again on the other side of the stars. Xoxo
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Barker lit a candle
Friday, January 24, 2025
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Going through my drawers, getting ready to get rid of things that no longer serve a purpose, and there sit your shorts. Aside from the few pictures I have, I have your shorts. We never got the chance to move anything in. Agreed you weren't going to leave just your toothbrush, you were going to just move in after we married. These shorts, you said keep them unless you don't want me around no more. I kept them. I cried opening my drawer and seeing them sitting there. 278 days, untouched, folded, waiting. I cant bring myself to even take them out of my drawer, yet alone think about getting rid of them! It'll be your birthday in just a couple of months. Thinking how you worked last year and I brought over a whole poster with a scratcher party cake. You cracked up cause we were going to celebrate in April, after my birthday (which was exactly 25 days after yours hahaha). I want to celebrate all of you and the memories we made. I just don't know where to start or how to go about it, who to talk to. You were my light, my smile, my comfort, and my reassurance. I love you Stud. Just writing to let you know, I'm thinking about you. I miss you so much and I love you.
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Barker posted a symbolic gesture
Monday, January 13, 2025
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I didn't want you to be a lesson. You were the love I didn't know I needed. I didnt know what I had been missing, until you reached out to me and came back into my life. The person I sat watching movies with, without saying a single word. We had a full conversation. Before you left I felt like I said everything that needed to be said. Short, direct and to the point. You knew what I was thinking with just a look. Sometimes, barely even a glance. Even with you not around, I will never finish falling in love with you. You were an amazing human being. An unbelievably dedicated loving father, an extraordinary son, a good big brother and uncle.... You were everything I needed encapsulated in one person. In the end we all just want someone that chooses us. Over anyone else, under any circumstances. Im so privileged, I got to be a choice you made. Counting down the days, my soul is gets to reunite with yours. I will find you again Stud. I promise you that. Maybe on the other side of the stars, or in another life. Either way, the way you left was unfair and to sudden. But someday when we find each other again, Im never going let you go. Hope your prepared for a never ending embrace and all the stories I have to share.
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Barker posted a symbolic gesture
Thursday, January 2, 2025
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Day 2 of 2025, 257 days without hearing "I love you" or "have a good day beautiful" in only the way you could say it. It doesn't matter the time that passes, you're not here. Nothings been the same. Nothing feels right. I'm so lost and confused. I'm trying to keep it together. It's so hard. Heard Stuck by Imagine Dragons. It didn't help at all. I cried and listened on repeat for hours. You were my everything. I started and ended my day with you. Now, I wish I just wouldn't wake up. I miss you and love you so much. I hope you partied with everyone and had the best night... with your illuminating wigs and incredibly awesome halo. Save me a spot for when its my turn. Until I see you again on the other side of the stars Stud. All my love.
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Barker posted a symbolic gesture
Tuesday, December 24, 2024
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On Christmas Eve here are the Vows I never got to say out loud. They would have read something like this:
We wont always see eye to eye (which we didn't)
You're not me and Im not you.
But when we're standing side by side,
We can see each others view.
It wont always be effortless,
Though my love will always run bone deep.
It burns with the stars, it will always be ours.
I will love you in my sleep.
We'll use words like they're fire,
Throw blame like knives,
You'll hold my hand through tears,
And years of these little lives.
We'll collect memories like leaves,
In the winter sun, and summer rain.
And when we're old we'll relive the colors
As a season starts again.
We will make promises that will be unspoken,
We will learn what it means to choose.
We'll discover the diamond in being the rock
And how rocks can also bruise.
They say that 'love' isn't enough,
But when morning is dark
And the smell of coffee and the sound of laughter
Etches in our hearts.
We couldn't have planned for everything to happen the way it did, if we tried
But Id live this life a thousand times over and over again for the time I get with you.
Its the simple things, the honest things
That make my heart take flight.....
I think this is what I would say in the vows I never got to say out loud.
Merry Christmas Stud. Hope you're enjoying the moments you get to see from above and your wings are glistening brighter than the star on our trees. With all my love, until we see each other again on the other side of the stars.
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Barker posted a symbolic gesture
Wednesday, December 11, 2024
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Getting ready to bake all the sweets for Christmas boxes, and all that comes to mind reading the directions, is your dreams of going to culinary school. You said if you could have any dream job it was 1 of 3 things... An IT tech guy in an office in front of computer screens, a pro gamer doing what you love and making bug bucks doing it, or a chef. I called you my foodie tech guy. Always cheddar, empathetic, and polite. You never let me open a single door, watched me in the kitchen smiling and laughing, and honestly there wasn't a single bad day that couldn't be fixed by one of your hugs. You made me feel so safe and secure. You caught all my stupid moments, laughed at me, and still loved me through it all. I miss you so much Stud. This holiday season is so hard without you. I'm trying, really hard to smile. Its not easy but I'm trying. I know you would have persevered no matter how sick, or upset, or whatever was going on.
So with all the holiday happenings, I'll smile through it, and know you're with me in spirit....until we meet again on the other side of the stars. With all my love, from me to you.
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Barker lit a candle
Wednesday, December 4, 2024
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Leaves are changing, temperatures are dropping. Kids are eager to see Santa. Everyone is prepping for the holidays are here. I keep waiting for you show up, for you to randomly appear. Everyone is so happy. But without you, its hard to find any kind of cheer. Time keeps going, nothing is stopping. Still memories of you keep relapsing.... I know you'd think the rhyming is cheddar. But couldn't express it any better. Sitting here watching Big Bang Theory. Thinking of you. With all my love, from me to you Stud. Missing you like crazy down here.
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Barker lit a candle
Friday, November 22, 2024
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Next week is Thanksgiving Stud. We would have been married for just over 6 months. Keeping with tradition, made clam chowder and started a new tv series. Found a couple new recipes you probably would have enjoyed. Keeping busy and trying to stay focused on the positive, as its the season to be thankful... That being said, I am so beyond thankful for the time we got to share, the memories we got to make, and the moments we laughed until we cried. More than I realized, those moments keep me going. They help me smile, when some days I want to give up. You were more incredible than you gave yourself credit for being. When you didn't smile or laugh, you managed to make those around you crack one or two effortlessly, even being stubborn and grouchy. I miss you so much. Even though it was short lived, thank you for letting me be a part of your world. Until I get to see you again, on the other side of the stars, game on Stud.
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Barker uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, November 10, 2024
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Every night my soul reaches out for yours. Every morning I wakeup, Im reminded your not here. All day long, I wish I could go back to sleep. Back to where I get to see your face, hear your voice, and back to where I'm able to hold your hand again. Your my favorite dream and my hardest heaviest loss. I love you. I miss you and am counting down the time, until I get to see you again. One day, on the other side of the stars. Until then, game on Stud.
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Barker uploaded photo(s)
Saturday, November 2, 2024
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Drove across the dam today. The sunset was beautiful. Reminded me of when you were out of state, you'd have me describe it to you over our phone calls. You said, you missed the view from the dam, friends and family, and of course Taco Tuesdays. We had some good deep intense conversations watching the sunset up there. I hate that I miss you so much. I love that I have such amazing memories of you. Its not the same down here without you. Don't think it ever will be. I miss you and love you every day. Until I get to see you again, on the other side of the stars.... Game on.
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Barker uploaded photo(s)
Monday, October 14, 2024
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In 7 days, it will have been 6 months you have been gone. But It was just yesterday, you were making plans for tomorrow. Time changes everything, nothing stays the same. I miss you everyday, it doesn't get easier, the pain doesn't lessen, it just becomes tolerable. Hope you know not a day has gone by without you being thought about.
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Barker lit a candle
Thursday, October 10, 2024
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Sometimes I don't know what is worse... missing you, or the fact that there's nothing I can do about it. Then there are times I hear your voice so vividly in my head, I give myself whiplash looking around to see if I can see you. Of course your not there. Does not mean I wont turn to look. I miss you. You are still always thought about. I hope you always know that.
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Barker lit a candle
Thursday, October 3, 2024
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More Time- NeedToBreathe- When one of your love languages is music because it says everything you're thinking but don't know how to say it out loud.... I gotcha. Ironically the last song we listened to together, April 18th, you said we will be just fine and in a couple months we will be having so many adventures. Convinced. I smiled and said, "I love you, Goodnight".
"Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we'll be fine
So say what's on your mind
'Cause I can't figure out just what's inside
So say alright
'Cause I know we can make it if we try
'Cause I need more time
Just a few more months and we'll be fine"
I miss you so much and am constantly seeking answers from you, knowing Ill never get the answers I'm looking for. I honestly don't think you know how much of a hole you left that can never be filled, not just for me but for everyone who knew you. You left an impact on so many and barely said anything. Miss you Goober.
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Barker posted a symbolic gesture
Friday, September 27, 2024
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Missing you is both, the easiest and hardest, thing I have ever done. I pray you know you are thought about every day. You left too soon. Hammer down and game on.
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Barker lit a candle
Wednesday, September 11, 2024
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“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
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Barker lit a candle
Monday, September 9, 2024
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Barker posted a symbolic gesture
Monday, September 9, 2024
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Barker lit a candle
Friday, August 30, 2024
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Rebecca lit a candle
Wednesday, June 19, 2024
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Lighting a candle sending all my love your way. Because there isn't a day that goes by that I havent thought about you.
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Mary lit a candle
Wednesday, June 5, 2024
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Love ya Son!
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Mary lit a candle
Sunday, May 19, 2024
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My son has 2 beautiful children.
Thank you to everyone that showed up and those that let me know of the ❤️.
My heart breaks!
Too soon !!!!
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Rebecca lit a candle
Tuesday, May 7, 2024
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The family of Terry Timothy Ackerman, JR. uploaded a photo
Monday, May 6, 2024
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Mary uploaded photo(s)
Monday, May 6, 2024
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Mary uploaded photo(s)
Monday, May 6, 2024
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Mary uploaded photo(s)
Monday, May 6, 2024
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That's my 37 year old son.
Ramsey Funeral Home
1175 Robinson St.
Oroville, CA
95965
Tel (530) 534-3877
Fax (530) 534-6238
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Oroville Funeral Home
1454 Montgomery St.
Oroville, CA
95965
Tel (530) 533-0323
Fax (530) 533-0822
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Gridley-Block Funeral Chapel
679 Ohio St.
Gridley, CA
95948
Tel (530) 846-2138
Fax (530) 846-2897
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About Us
At Ramsey Funeral Homes, our focus is to help the living successfully navigate the Acute Loss Period, the crucial time between the event of death and the onset of grief.